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Layoffs can come as a shock – one minute you're happily doing your job, with no thought of unemployment, and the next moment you're out of a job. Your company will probably offer you some amount of severance payment.

Even when you've had an inkling that the company might make cuts, hearing that it's you who's been cut is painful news that can leave you reeling. This is often negotiable – especially if your company has special interest in getting you to sign a "general release," the standard agreement that in exchange for severance payments releases the company from any future legal claims stemming from your employment there.

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This statement itself is often negotiable, and now is the time to bring it up. Collect as much information about the circumstances of the layoff as you can.

While you don't want to push the company for information it's not going to release, it's helpful to understand as much as you can about the size of the layoff and the reasons for your position being part of it. While it's obviously worse for you, layoffs are hard on the people left behind too, and co-workers often won't be sure of what to say.

In future job interviews, it will be helpful to be able to explain that, for instance, you were part of 200 positions that were cut, or that the company was eliminating your job function entirely. As with a death, some people aren't sure what to say and so avoid the topic altogether. Ask your manager and former colleagues for help finding a new job.

By being gracious yourself and not bad-mouthing the company or otherwise putting co-workers in an awkward position, you'll make it easier for them to maintain the relationship with you and reach out to you in the future with job leads and other overtures. Don't be shy about doing this or think that it will be too uncomfortable to ask. While it might be momentarily satisfying to tell off your boss on the way out the door, or to bad-mouth the company to clients, resist the impulse. Even if you think your job search won't take long or your savings can sustain you, file for unemployment – because you can't predict how long it will take to find a new position (particularly in this market).

It's normal to ask, and many laid-off people have found their next job by making precisely this request. You'll harm your own reputation at exactly the time you need it in good shape for your job search. And file right away, because it can take a few weeks for benefits to kick in.

writes the popular Ask a Manager blog, where she dispenses advice on career, job search, and management issues.

She's also the co-author of Managing to Change the World: The Nonprofit Manager's Guide to Getting Results, and former chief of staff of a successful nonprofit organization, where she oversaw day-to-day staff management, hiring, firing, and employee development.

Alison Green writes the popular Ask a Manager blog, where she dispenses advice on career, job search and management issues.

She's the author of "How to Get a Job: Secrets of a Hiring Manager," co-author of "Managing to Change the World: The Nonprofit Manager's Guide to Getting Results" and the former chief of staff of a successful nonprofit organization, where she oversaw day-to-day staff management.

Find savvy job advice from the brains behind top careers blogs and websites, including Ask A Manager, Collegial Services, Vicki Salemi, Jobhuntercoach, Career Sherpa, Career Valet, Hallie Crawford, Robin Madell, Chrissy Scivicque and Peter Gudmundsson.

The Dallas Morning News used those adjectives to describe my sister Texan Artegus Konyale Madden last days.

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