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I think it’s White People’s inherent prudish squareness that makes them get all giddy about "naughty" rapper songs.

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If you’ve ever seen Black People comedy, you’ll be familiar with the notion that White People have no rhythm and can’t dance. That’s why they will embrace with both honky arms any song that makes it OK for them to not actually dance during it or that tells them exactly what to do and when to do it.

If you go to a club and this fucking song comes on all the White People will literally jump around. Go to a karaoke bar – get the song list – check the rap section – if there’s only one song, this is the song – every fucking time, this is the song.

This, like a number of the other rap songs White People love, features prominently sexual themes addressed in a humorous fashion.

Knowing everything up through the hook means you’ll be frenching at 80s Night.

Before he was shooting porn and marrying/divorcing Pepa (a near miss on this list herself), Treach was teaching White People the world over how to wave their arms from side to side above their heads while singing nursery rhymes. Man, what was the fucking story about this song and the other one that came out at exactly the same time by, I believe, 95 South called "Whoot There It Is?

" Somebody fucked somebody else over big time there.

The weird thing about this song – ubiquitous and beloved by Wisconsin grandmothers that it is – is that its lyrics contain the words "motherfucking," "nigga," "shit," and references to smoking dank. I remember watching The Box video network (where I learned everything I know about Black People) and seeing Tag Team’s follow-ups to this one: "Whoomp (Si Lo Es)" and "Addam’s Family Whoomp." I’m not kidding.

When these songs come on, White People look at each other and say "Awwww yeah" or "Hell yeah" and are compelled to sing along.

Sometimes there’s also a corresponding stupid dance move.

Having studied White People for 30 years, my authority on the topic is absolute; this list is damn near bullet proof. White Girls in particular love this song because it gives them a chance to playfully reject a male suitor’s advances on the dance floor before blowing him at the end of the night. Unlike most of his peers on this list, the Biz is a guy long deep in the hip hop scene with lots of cred, yet to White People he’ll only ever be that fat funny-looking black guy with the wig who sings bad.

I believe there is a law that requires this song be played at every Rock n’ Bowl.

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